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"Because I kill people. I killed all the Seconds, even when I promised I would change that path and I didn't. I couldn't alter it." He hugs himself and slumps to the floor. Like he held that in for so long to actually say it bluntly was like a relief.

"Some in self defense, some for thrills I don't understand... I'm not really a hero at all. I still fell for the same trap." Rock puts his head to his knees.

"They came back, sure. But I can't pretend it never happened..."

He's quiet as he listens, frowning slightly. Finally, Optimus shifts on his knee so he's almost directly sitting. It seems to be a very familiar experience to when young Orion Pax was given the Matrix to save Cybertron's future from a great threat, only for it to turn into a four million-year-long war.

There's a lot he could say. He wonders if relating will help.

"I understand the feeling. I understand it well enough to know that being told that having these feelings about them means that you might still have something left within you won't help at all." There's a lot he could say here, still. Optimus thinks it through slowly. "We are not the only two in this position, however. It will never undo what was done, but, Rock, you must believe me when I say that sharing the burden eases it. Even if you believe you don't deserve it to be eased; spiralling down these paths of thought will only serve to cloud your judgement and result in further choices that harm you. When you harm yourself, then, you harm the ones who care about you."

"I'm sharing it now with you. So why doesn't it feel eased. Why do I feel like my chest is concaved." Rock looks up at him in offense and then quickly turns his head away. "Sometimes I just... feel like the villain in my own story. In the Wilybot's story. I'm a monster even though..." He sighs and moves to hide further under Optimus shadow.

"Its so hard, mr Prime."

"It's fresh, Rock, these things don't happen immediately. You still have a lot to work through yourself."

He moves again, putting his hand next to the much smaller robot master. Optimus isn't going to stop Rock trying to hide, not for now.

"You are not a monster. It was not right for such a burden of responsibility to be put on someone so young who still needed to find himself and his place in the world in his own way before being told what to do and who is his enemy." His optics dim slightly, and he looks down the corridor rather than at Rock for a moment. "It will never be easy. But it will get easier, when you become able to lean on others when you need to. When you have time to process things. Continually denying them and moving onto the next mission that needs to be completed only means things build up."

He would know. He's aware of his hypocrisy here - which isn't a new feeling - and it's clear in his tone that he's trying to be as honest as he can be.

"It'll never be easy..." Rock repeats as a solemn defeat. A fact he's always known but... "But Easier I'll take. Easier means... even if I failed before, I can try again. I have chances to try again. I still have time."

It seems he has an idea to how this works... but... "Do you think... something souless can be saved?" Despite everything, it seems the Ammonites words still struck.

"If I do go bad... I can be saved? Isn't that the story about some of the Decepticons, some Autobots... Even if I don't have what you have..."

"The only thing any of us can try to do, no matter our experience, is do and be better than we were the day before," He says with a nod. "Sometimes that doesn't happen, but a lot of the time it does."

At his question, Optimus tilts his head.

"Why do you believe the Ammonites, who were very clearly full of hate towards all of us for intensely petty reasons, when they told you that? Do you think if you were what they tried to tell you you were, you would care this much about doing the right thing? Would you believe anyone telling you that you do have a soul as easily?" He shifts, finials moving. "Everyone deserves a chance to be saved. That is why it was not right for me to do what I did to the combiner."

"Because..." Rock doesn't have an answer. Clearly just a child wounded by words. He sits there thinking. "Why did the barrier work then. What do I lack that that everyone else had?"

"I don't even have a will. Father said so, and father wouldn't lie. He said he was working on an X factor to make us more independent and human." He rubs his eyes. "Maybe its hard imagining to have a soul right now. When I couldn't help save them either."

"Am I who I am because I lack a will, does a will guarantee a soul's existence? So if I have a soul later in life, will I no longer be myself?"

"It was set up by someone with an arbitrary set of rules in mind. If it had been working as they wanted it to, it probably wouldn't have let any of us through..."

It's a valid question, though. What did the magic see in them that it didn't see in Rock or Princer? Perhaps the Ammonites run on a similar power source as Cybertronians-- a spark or something similar. Maybe even energon.

"You don't have to be more human. You can just be more like you." These aren't questions Optimus hasn't asked himself, he thinks. It's very similar to the path he walks when he goes back to think about Orion Pax, and if there's any of the little labourer left in him. Especially recently, with the choices he's had to make. "Regardless of the answer to these questions, you will always be yourself. Even if you get better, even if you get worse. Who we are is never static."

"I... I guess you're right. Sorry. I spiraled again, I just wanted to apologize before and instead it ended up here." Rock rubs his eyes. Trying to focus on the words Optimus tells him. How he'll never be static.

And Rock knows. He knows he wouldn't be that happy carefree child forever. But, he's scared at what parts will change. Even if they need to change.

What does he let go. Can he at least choose?

"This is why I suggested you seek out one of the therapists on the ship," he says gently. "I do not mind speaking with you about these things, but I cannot guarantee I can always be available the way they can."

He gives Rock a bright smile regardless.

"You didn't need to apologise, but I accept it regardless."

"I'll think about it. Okay? I'm just not sure about anything else right now." Rock nods, looking at the floor. But something gotten through this time. One can only hope it sticks.

"...Alright, but do call me if you feel yourself slipping. I am not going anywhere for the time being."

Hopefully it sticks. Hopefully Rock makes a choice that can benefit him instead of pushing it away in favour of suffering in a way he seems to think that he deserves.

Not that Optimus would know about that method, or anything.

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